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Oscars 2003 (the 2002 Academy Awards)

by Jeff Wolverton   
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Lunch the next day at Sony Imageworks

Lunch the next day at Sony Imageworks
Giant ChubbChubbs posters. Did I mention I wrote it?

Me and poster

Me and poster
You can almost see my name on the bottom, under "2nd Assisstant...

Eric Armstrong, the Director

Eric Armstrong, the Director
Hence the Oscar in his hand. I think he sleeps with it. God knows I would!...

Me with the Oscar

Me with the Oscar
I'm hungover, in case you're wondering why I look so pissed. Took off...

The Golden Boy

The Golden Boy
In a good, firm grip. Thing weighs a ton. Never touched one before.

More of me holding the Oscar

More of me holding the Oscar
Other people at the luncheon wanted to hold it too, but I figured: fuck 'em.

Happy Director, Whiny Writer

Happy Director, Whiny Writer
I later became Bitchy Writer, then Wimpy Writer Who Needs a Job Again.

Kindly Director, Surly Writer

Kindly Director, Surly Writer
(Like I'm really going to hand that thing back.)

At this point I think he started...

At this point I think he started...
...whispering threats. I realized he can now afford to pay people to...

Brad Simonsen, AKA

Brad Simonsen, AKA
The voice of Meeper!! (Did I mention I was the voice of the ChubbChubbs? The...

Oscar's Ass

Oscar's Ass
Hey, sexy...

Whoops. He heard me.

Whoops. He heard me.
Don't mess with a famous guy with a sword.

FINALLY! Meeper, the ChubbChubbs...

FINALLY! Meeper, the ChubbChubbs...
...and their Oscar! You guys rock! Now don't go showing up in a movie...

The ticket.

The ticket.
Thanks for viewing! Big kiss! Hugs. Stay in drugs, don't do...

Inside Cover of Variety, March 27, 2003

Inside Cover of Variety, March 27, 2003
(Now all I gotta do is get my name to move up to that category just above it....

Me at the BAFTAs

Me at the BAFTAs
They took place in England. They have funny phone booths.

Me and the Oscar at Eric's house

Me and the Oscar at Eric's house
Eric clocked me later as I tried to run out with it.

The award in its final resting place

The award in its final resting place
Eric's mantle.

My cats (had some extra space on roll)

My cats (had some extra space on roll)
Apparently, being a cat is exhausting work.

Reason #6 why it's difficult to write

Reason #6 why it's difficult to write
I swear one of these days I'm hacking that thing off.
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article published 3/26/2003
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