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Me and Meeper, in shock
Photo actually taken from back during production last spring. (Just to...
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Me putting on Tux
I learned to button it myself! (The second time.)
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Ron, my limo driver
(Okay, actually he's my friend who owns the limo and wouldn't let me...
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Three drunk guys and a beatup limo
The car's blue book value is roughly the same as that bottle I'm...
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Jay presents me with the Golden Buttpack
Awarded just before the Oscars. A true honor, and if it weren't for the...
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I first see the Golden Buttpack
(Also, I first smell it.)
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I'd like to thank the Academy...
...to get this thing away from me. I can't breathe.
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The honor of winning begins to overwhelm
(Or, more likely, the fumes from the buttpack.)
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Protesters we see on way to the Oscars
(I had to walk through these guys later on, due to a mishap with my...
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Chris, dressed to the nines for the day
(Not a hair out of place.)
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I put on sunglasses.
(I'm too important to be seen now.)
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Psyke!
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Entering the Academy Awards
Just before they take my camera.
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The red carpet beneath my feet.
Mmmm... so red... so... carpet-y..
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Entrance to the Oscars
Must... keep red jacket guys... from taking my camera....
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After the Oscars
Various famous people leaving, most of them annoyed at the loser with the...
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The red carpet
Not entirely red. Has yellow image of some naked guy.
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Looking back into the Kodak Theater
They gave me back my camera, but I was only ballsy enough to take photos when...
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Famous blurry people
Okay, I got SOME famous people, but they were blurry. (Note this...
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Graven images
...mmmm...must worship golden calves...
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Duuuuude....
Keanu Reeves. Turns out he's much blurrier in person. (Did I mention they...
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Duuuude.....
Keanu insisted on taking my picture too. Bastard probably sold it to paparazzi.
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Big Oscar Statue
Trivia fact: no penis.
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Me in Oscar pose
Trivia fact: I however, do have a penis.
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The Golden Buttpack
Look, but don't touch. Or inhale sharply.
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Lunch the next day at Sony Imageworks
Giant ChubbChubbs posters. Did I mention I wrote it?
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Me and poster
You can almost see my name on the bottom, under "2nd Assisstant...
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Eric Armstrong, the Director
Hence the Oscar in his hand. I think he sleeps with it. God knows I would!...
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Me with the Oscar
I'm hungover, in case you're wondering why I look so pissed. Took off...
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The Golden Boy
In a good, firm grip. Thing weighs a ton. Never touched one before.
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More of me holding the Oscar
Other people at the luncheon wanted to hold it too, but I figured: fuck 'em.
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Happy Director, Whiny Writer
I later became Bitchy Writer, then Wimpy Writer Who Needs a Job Again.
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Kindly Director, Surly Writer
(Like I'm really going to hand that thing back.)
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At this point I think he started...
...whispering threats. I realized he can now afford to pay people to...
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Brad Simonsen, AKA
The voice of Meeper!! (Did I mention I was the voice of the ChubbChubbs? The...
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Oscar's Ass
Hey, sexy...
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Whoops. He heard me.
Don't mess with a famous guy with a sword.
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FINALLY! Meeper, the ChubbChubbs...
...and their Oscar! You guys rock! Now don't go showing up in a movie...
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The ticket.
Thanks for viewing! Big kiss! Hugs. Stay in drugs, don't do...
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Inside Cover of Variety, March 27, 2003
(Now all I gotta do is get my name to move up to that category just above it....
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Me at the BAFTAs
They took place in England. They have funny phone booths.
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Me and the Oscar at Eric's house
Eric clocked me later as I tried to run out with it.
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The award in its final resting place
Eric's mantle.
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My cats (had some extra space on roll)
Apparently, being a cat is exhausting work.
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Reason #6 why it's difficult to write
I swear one of these days I'm hacking that thing off.
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